Paradoxo da solidão

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Sou uma pessoa que sempre gostei de estar rodeada de familiares e amigos. Sou controladora, gosto que as coisas sejam do meu jeito e no fundo tenho dificuldade de lidar com de mudanças. Ufa…

Eis que nada melhor para virar a pessoa do avesso é ela ir para outro país, com outra cultura, leis, não conhecer ninguém e claro, sem dominar o idioma.

Este ano me senti muito sozinha em alguns momentos, pois sempre gostei de fazer as coisas com alguém, por mais que o Igor estivesse comigo, ele também tinha o trabalho dele e tinha que se dedicar muito a esta nova etapa.

Eis que acabei fazendo (na marra) passeios sozinha, até no início por falta de opção. Sempre achei meio deprimente sair sozinha e no começo estava achando mesmo, mas nunca estive tão “sozinha” como neste ano, mas nunca conheci tanta gente como neste ano.

Ok, vou explicar melhor. Me sentia sozinha por não ter minha família, meus amigos e fiquei um pouco triste em alguns momentos, porém sempre fui aberta a novas amizades e pelo fato de estar sozinha olhava mais ainda para as pessoas e acabava que conversava mais com a moça que estava tomando café ao meu lado, com a pessoa esperando o ônibus, enfim… saia sozinha e voltava cheia de histórias.

Vi que a vida é feita de escolhas. Eu podia ter me fechado por não dominar o idioma, como poderia tirar proveito desta experiência tão inusitada. Acabei que conheci gente de país que eu nem sabia que existia.

Em paralelo, comecei a gostar mais de mim mesma, conversava sozinha, pedia opinião do que eu pensava sobre o assunto e às vezes discordava (hehehehe) e acabei que estou aprendendo a ser a minha melhor companhia.

O estar “sozinha” me ajudou a sair do meu quadrado, da minha zona de conforto e claro que ficou escancarado que de fato nunca estamos sozinhos, se é que me entendem.

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